SPOKEN WORD –
(by WIllomena – thanks to Inner Light Ministries)
Why? Why me? Why not me?
What is so wrong about me and right about you
that no matter what it is that I do … it never turns
In the time I have in mind
Or becomes the kind that meets my plans
So that I can demand the goodness
That eludes, intrudes into my psychic space
holds my dreams that simply dribble into a thimble
not the bucket that the luckets always have –
Oh you know the luckets, the lucky ones
The sun shines more brightly on them
Like they got their own genie in a bottle
Obeying their every command
My genie throttles – dissing my demands.
Why? Why me? Why not me?
Why always the brides maid and never the bride?
Side-kicked by the hero with no place to go
I am treading water below the ones already drowning
Even the victims are ahead of me!
Always on the outside peaking in at the party
Maybe my invitation is just tardy
but it never never arrives!
I die for the chance to be on the team being in the dream
But my life time is spent sitting on the bench
Its all kind of a wrench
Its just killing my soul
Why? Why me? Why not me?
If any of this spiritual stuff is true
Then I don’t have to do anything
But show up with my deepest intent
Bring my deepest intent to the table
Be able to relentlessly revive
thrive on what I know
Don’t throw a fit when the facts don’t fit
And don’t act like the facts are all it
If everything is equally available –
Why do I even bother to label
Labeling it as
His, hers, theirs, not ours
Impossible, practical
Maybe, later?
Why do I even bother to label it
As good news or bad news
Refusing to say it just is!
I say – phew – well
I don’t want to be wearing no labels
but I am dishing them out like a name tag
So I know what to call things
Rather than piercing thru what is true
beyond the appearances
Why? Why me? Why not me?
Why am I always standing in the soup line of life
Instead of assuming my assignment at the banquet table?
Instead I am telling and retelling
reselling my same old story
about how hard it was just to get into the line?
But if the line is my own kind’s struggle
then I can deconstruct it
My reality redesigned along with the spiriutal truth
no longer looking for what is not workng
but shining through with spiritual sight.
So Why not me?
Made in the image and likeness
Of the Creator of all things
Who sings praises that I was born
Beyond my sight – Into the light !
Always shining on a better way
Why not me?
My birth, every thing in my life is not in accident
But an imprint of a master plan
That plans for all of its creation
the best that life has to offer.
The coffers that are always flowing
are overflowing on me!
Why? Why? Because I am alive!
Because I am standing here in the path of all good things
As all things come together for my good
Why not me?
– Are my tears not as salty?
– Are my fears not just as faulty?
– Are my years less valuable because they are mine?
– Is my laughter less delightful?
– My knowing less insightful?
– My love less healing?
– My heart less revealing ?
– Is there a patent on enoughness?
Toughness don’t linger as an answer
A cancer that spreads within.
There is good and plenty for all of God’s children
Why not me? a unique individualized expression
of the divine refined by the refiners fire
my only desire is to be all that God intends me to be
to see the world thru the eyes of unity and equanimity!
I am here for a purpose you see
To let God be God – as Me!